Am I My Brother's Keeper?

Lately, with the hardship of these economic times upon us, I have been pondering the nature of man under pressure. There are so many adages concerning hardship. For instance, I’ve heard that it is under intense pressure that diamonds are formed from common lumps of coal. Aw, what a lovely thought…I sure hope that’s what I become through all of this since diamonds are reported to be a girl’s best friend!

I’ve also heard that ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going;’ ‘it is the storm showers that make the flowers grow;’ ‘every cloud has a silver lining;’ ‘don’t sweat the small stuff…and it is all small stuff;’ and ‘stress is not what happens to us but it’s our response to what happens.’

Of course, there are the sayings that you might more quickly relate with: ‘stress is waking up screaming from a nightmare and realizing you weren’t even asleep;’ or ‘I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once. ‘

The other day I was reminded of a saying that I actually, whole-heartedly believe. A friend of mine was trying to comfort another woman and offhandedly remarked, ‘Well, you know that what does not make us bitter makes us better.’ Essentially, trials will either bring out the good in people or the bad; and, indeed, they will either make you an embittered person or they will build new strengths in you.

The Meat of Better Versus Bitter

Of course, the premise of my discussion today is nothing quite so simple. I have been concerned of late about how we treat others while under pressure. While it is true that hardship can provide opportunity for you to shine as a problem-solver or a survivor, I must ask, are we surviving or even thriving by cheating those around us?

Being active in the financial industry, I have often been surprised at the lack of unity within the industry during tough times. In fact, the lack of unity even within a single organization can be shocking as once friendly coworkers begin to jockey for the most secure positions.

In my experience, I have witnessed peers who openly lied and even bragged about lying to and about their staff in order to preserve their place in the hierarchy. Furthermore, when times got tough, I’ve witnessed them turning on the employees or coworkers who had helped them the most.

Sadly, while some people’s strength of character shines in tough times, others throw their closest friends and colleagues under the bus, so to speak. As some quip, all is fair in love and war. However, let us not worry so much about keeping our jobs as keeping our integrity. Let us not worry so much about keeping a good credit score as keeping a good rapport without and within the body of Christ.

While tough times have often rendered faithful heroes for our ideals, such as Martin Luther King, Jr. or Abraham Lincoln, they have also brought out the nastiest villains! While the hardship of racial division brought us Martin Luther King, Jr., it also brought us the man who assassinated him. While the turmoil between the Northern and Southern states brought us Abraham Lincoln, it also brought the harsh task masters who mistreated countless men and women on their plantations, creating a need for someone to stand up for the poor and downtrodden.

Please understand that all of these men and women—whether remembered for good deeds or evil—began with similar opportunity. They often faced the same hardships and trials; it was certainly their choice then that made them what we remember today.

We forget that John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of Abraham Lincoln, had times of laughter and mirth with his friends and family. We forget that he once had goals for his life and that he was an accomplished actor of the time. The point is, he was not all bad.

Often, we get a one-sided perspective from Hollywood’s portrayal of villains. They appear to have always been evil; however, that is often not the case. They were human beings just like you and me…with choices to make in a tough time.

Often, we are too quick to judge another person for a mistake. Whether it be on the job, in our churches, or within the family circle, we are far too quick to write someone off as a lost cause. In doing so, we make it even more difficult for them to find their way back to goodness again.

Let me explain. John Wilkes Booth had his reasons for disliking Abraham Lincoln’s politics. He supported the Confederacy for one. As a Southerner, he was tormented by the devastation that the Union army had wrought upon the beautiful farmland and cities of the South. Unable to see the many forces at work, however, he focused his anger upon one man, Abraham Lincoln. Not being able to appreciate the years of debate in the Congress between Northern and Southern states regarding taxes, representation, and many other such matters, he over-simplified the problem…and the solution.

Often, when we face a rough road, we over-simplify our problem as well, perhaps as a method for making it more manageable. It is when we over-simplify the solution though that we get into trouble. ‘Well, if Sister Bernice weren’t the soloist all the time, I could be used more and I really don’t see why the Pastor should use a woman that dresses as sloppy as she does.’ Or, ‘Ted reaches all his goals at work and makes everyone look terrible, but I bet his reports are really unorganized; how can this company allow that.’

Essentially, when we are suffering, our response is often to place blame, whether it is deserved or not. It is in this moment that our tough times can turn us into the bitter rather than the better. We add to the storm cloud instead of creating a silver lining. And we can destroy a fellow brother or sister in our own effort to survive.

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

I personally believe that none of us have seen the last of our tough times; believe me, there are more ahead. Of course, there will also be good times interspersed throughout as well! But during our tough times, it is important that we realize that we are indeed our brothers’ and sisters’ keeper!

The question originated with Cain as God questioned him about the whereabouts of his brother. He had some pretty heavy pressures on him. First, he was the firstborn son of Adam and Eve. Abel was second born. Let’s look at what Cain was up against. While Abel was a shepherd tending to animals, Cain was given the task of working the ground.

First, Cain’s job was more difficult. If you remember, God cursed the ground when he cursed Adam for his disobedience to him in partaking of the forbidden fruit. The ground was cursed and man was told that he would work by the sweat of his brow.

We find later in the Old Testament where that particular curse on the ground was released; therefore, we have no idea just how difficult farming was during that time. Suffice it to say, it was much more difficult than the early American settlers experienced and even more difficult than our farmers experience today, thanks to modern machinery, pesticides, and hormones to enhance growth!

Notice, the only difficulty with animals was that God took skins from them to clothe Adam and Eve. So, while Abel simply had to keep the domesticated animals from the wild, Cain was forced to toil much greater against the elements as well as the cursed ground.

Second, Cain’s job was less secure, less predictable; as any farmer knows, one good storm or a drought can wipe out one’s crop.

Third, Cain’s job was back-breaking compared to the more easily managed shepherding of Abel. Cain would not have been afforded a ready-made plow or a simple method for harvesting his plants. He would have had to create farm implements to do these things. Plus, consider bending over each seed as it was planted, ensuring that the plants were watered, and fighting the weeds that must have consumed the field of cursed soil. My back is already stinging with pain!

Cain endured all of this so when it was time to offer a sacrifice to God, he naturally felt that the greatest gift he could give was the fruit of his labors…the fruit of the field.

Now, today, I’ve heard many preachers scoff, saying that Cain should have known better. Why, the ground was cursed so why would he bring a cursed offering to God!

While this is indeed true and good, sound doctrine, consider with me the human element for a moment. Cain was most proud of what he had accomplished; he had fought the cursed ground and subdued it. He was bringing the fruits of his labor to God as a sacrifice…even though he had been instructed to bring a living sacrifice.

Now, consider how difficult it would be to know that you were given the tougher job but you have to go through your little brother—the one with the cushy job—to get a lamb for a sacrifice. That’s right. You have to humble yourself, despite your hard work and dedication to provide for the family. You must ask your brother for part of his labors so that you can please God.

In such a scenario, many of us might have easily reacted as Cain did. In anger, Cain killed his brother.

Am I vindicating Cain? Surely not! But I do see where his mistake is often repeated in our lives. Perhaps we do not physically murder our brothers and sisters…but what about Spiritually? Emotionally? Relationally? In the church? On the job? With our words? With passive aggressive actions?

Many of us walk down some dark roads and it’s easy to despise those who appear to be on the mountaintop at the time. This is why we are told not to compare ourselves with one another (II Corinthians 10:12). Just remember, everyone walks through valleys and climbs mountains, each in their turn; if you’re in a valley and your brother is on the mountain, hang in there. The situation will be reversed soon enough.

But, whether you walk the dark valley or sit atop a beautiful peak at the moment, you are your brother’s keeper.

Why Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

Quite simply, we—as ambassadors of Christ—should share his perspective…not only of ourselves but of others.

Ok, history lesson! In Jeremiah 1:4-5, we witness the calling of Jeremiah: ”Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”

We see that before this man was even born, God had not only called him to be a prophet but had carefully formed him in the womb. Each brother, each sister was carefully formed by God for a particular purpose.

While it is true that not everyone follows the leading or calling of God, they are still very special to Him. As he formed them, He was planning just what He would like to do with that life.

As His ambassadors, should we not be the same? Certainly, we cannot form someone in the womb, but we can certainly assist with their transformation in life. Too often, however, we give up on people.

Consider Joash. He was seven years old when he became King of Israel. After years of servitude to the wicked Queen Athaliah who served idols and had murdered every competing member of her family—except Joash whom she overlooked, the kingdom was brought back to worshipping the one true God under the rule of Joash.

In II Kings 12: 2, we find that ”Jehoash did that which was right in the sight of the LORD all his days wherein Jehoiada the priest instructed him.” He apparently had a teachable spirit and listened to godly counsel.

However, later in the chapter, we find that Joash became afraid as the Syrian army defeated Gath and turned toward Israel. In fear, he tried to appease the enemy by offering him the gold of his house and also that of the temple.

It was a foolish mistake, but haven’t we made a few? Essentially, his actions amounted to a valley in his life where his faith was weak.

In response, II Kings 12:20 says that “his servants arose, and made a conspiracy, and slew Joash.”

Now, some might say that these servants were so in tune with the Lord that they wouldn’t allow even one slip up, but I ask you, were they commanded by God to do this awful deed? There is no place in scripture where they are commended for their actions.

Instead, we see two servants, Jozachar and Jehozabad, who, as earlier idol worshippers, had sought forgiveness and mercy. They could not extend the same mercy to Joash for his one mistake.

Likewise, today, we are too often ready to weld the sword against our brother and our sister.

We glorify the ‘stand’ we’ve taken but ignore the soul that was lost!

James 5:19-20 encourages us to restore the fallen rather than slaying them: “Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.”

So, why don’t we reach out to those who make mistakes rather than slaying them with our tongue?

Could it be that our tongue is not in subjection to God and we cannot control our words as we should? And could it be, that having offended with the quick sword of the tongue, the salvage of the soul would just take too much time for us to even bother?

Proverbs 18:19 says, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” Could it be that we justify our giving up on them to cover our lack of control that pushed them further from the altar?

The Psalmist in Psalm 55 relates the feeling of being harmed by a friend: “For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.”

Here, we witness the confusion, the perplexity, and the hurt our brothers and sisters feel when we quickly turn and rend them for their mistakes.

Even Jesus was subject to persecution by those who should have stood beside him. In Zechariah 13:6, the writer prophetically speaks: “What are these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.”

Who worked to destroy Jesus? Was it not the Pharisees and Sadducees…the religious leaders of his day? The ones, who should have known him best and been the happiest to receive him, had him nailed to a cross in shame.

The Psalmist also decries such betrayal of his friends in Psalm 35: “They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul. But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.”

Note, the friend hurt him to the spoiling of his soul. Let us never be the cause of a brother or sister being lost!

So many times, I’ve heard people who are too quick to judge and too quick to speak, reply with the ‘too well known’ scripture, “but every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust” (James 1:14).

They think this settles the issue…removes them from all blame. However, I’d like to point out the text they so quickly overlook. It says that “every man is tempted” . Being tempted does not necessarily mean they followed through with the temptation and actually sinned. Or, having succumbed and sinned, this scripture does not denote actual backsliding away from God entirely. It simply says that every man is tempted by his own lust.

Let me break this down for everyone. This scripture’s meaning has been twisted to justify harsh treatment of our brothers and sisters for long enough.

It does not mean that a person who turns away from God entirely does it completely on their own and is guilty alone although, someday, they will stand alone and have to give an account to God for it.

What it does mean is that every person is tempted by different things, based on what his or her particular lust or desires are. For instance, some women are tempted by make-up because of low self-esteem or the desire to appear younger. I do not have this temptation; however, I do suffer from other temptations that even the most painted-up women sometimes never face!

Temptations, therefore, are caused by our own lusts or desires getting out of hand. When we have not submitted and made certain that our desires mirror God’s desires, then our fleshly cravings will surface, allowing us to be more readily tempted.

That being said, we all must realize that no person backslides on their own. There are always accessories to the fact!

The brother or sister who will no longer speak to a fallen man when he attempts to come back to church are part of the problem.

The people who boast about preaching it strong but do so without love and compassion, so that the weak are harmed and leave the congregation scarred rather than whole; they are part of the problem!

The coworkers who seek justification of themselves by throwing another person under the bus; they are part of the problem.

So the next time you see a person who has made a mistake or even completely given up on God, selah.

Selah is a term often used by David, meaning to consider or ponder. Ponder who the undertakers were around them that dug their spiritual grave. Were you one of them?

Or could you be the lifeline? The good Samaritan that sees a dead body but hears a heartbeat that still yearns for communion with God? Could you be the friend that hides a multitude of sins and recovers the broken?

As the super-religious high priest and levite hurry along their path toward their self-appointed destinies, will you be the Samaritan who sacrifices self for the kingdom?